my 18 + year old cat and daily rituals...

today began with me waking bleary-eyed... yet again... and shaking my head in disgust that I do not possess the youth and vigour I believe I should somehow have...

pound, pound, pound on my 8 year-old's door that is mostly open... "get up D! school!" a flashback to my mom waking me up hits... feels surreal... almost like an LSD flashback (I have read how they feel... LOL)... I shake it off... debate whether to wake my other one yet... naw... I will wait ten minutes or so... stumble into the master bedroom... yes! I was asleep in the guest room again due to his SNORING! stumble, stumble...

now in bathroom... cat litter all over the floor... gross... feels gritty and icky... (sorry to disappoint as my usual scintillating linguistic abilities are at a loss as to how to adequately describe this in more colorful terms). Goddam it! I have to start another day with the G/D cat box!!! now many of you may be grossed that the cat box is in my master bathroom instead of my basement... so I will explain... when we built this house... we did not want to cut a hole in the basement door for a cat door as the cat was pretty old... how much longer could she last? seriously? so... rather then traipse down to the basement I put it there in the master bathroom... which was pretty big so... it is not so bad I thought... I mean our last house had one bathroom and now we have a couple so only G and I would see it... and then I decided to spend the extra money and buy the scoopable flushable clumping litter so it would not stink etc. But every day, rain or shine, I am scooping my cat's crap and pee too.... every freakin' day...

now I must say... I love my cat... really I do... we had two... Cleo and Mischief... they were our babies... b4 we had human ones... and Mischief died... holy shit... jesus h. christ! 12 years ago! my god, it has been a while! anyhooo...... this one is now more then 18 years old... and yes, as I said... I love her... b4 Big D came along making me officially a mom... we found out that Cleo has pancreatic something or other... had to take her to Emergency Vet hospital... paid thru the nose and I was absolutely bawling, I remember how devastated I was.... and then when she was transferred to the regular vet for a stay of 5 more days, I visited her several times a day, touching her furry paw through the bars and talking her through it... telling her I love her... etc. etc........ now, I am trying very hard to not regret those choices... as it has been 10 years since then... around and about... and much as I love her... I think 18 + is pretty G/D long for a cat... seriously! and I have had to deal with my kids bodily fluids regularly and many diapers and pissy drawers and now we are quite seriously thinking of having kid #3... so I keep saying... "Do you see a light Cleo?... if you do... it is ok to go into it... really... go ahead.... I love you but go ahead".... but my cat only see the light of love in my eyes...

well I wanted to tell you about the rest of my day..... did not even plan to vent in a feline manner as such.... but I am quite expended after this diatribe.... so I shall retreat and relax... what verbal diarrhea that was! LOL.... nighty night...

oh and p.s. a pic of my cat was clearly called for, wouldn't you say?

She has her own profile on facebook... you have to go to mine first though... tell you just a smidge more about her... (no, not much... I am not some freak who rambles about my cat's personality!!!)

Maternal Mental Meanderings: GROWING PAINS

well... I have not blogged for what feels like ages... mostly because (to be utterly honest) I never get comments... I am fully aware that this sounds seriously pathetic... but when you take the time to pontificate about life because obviously people do not listen to you in the real world... then you must be seeking interaction in the cyber one... doncha think?

(good god, what the hell am I thinking putting that pic here... that will scare my legions of blogging fans [you know who you are ... the ones who read and then don't comment] away and fast... I look depressed, exhausted, ancient and of course the usual plumpness --- I selected it to make those of you brave to stick around to feel such pity that you will comment!)

anyway... I decided... the hell with it... I will muse on here for my own sake and the rest of you be damned... (well, don't be damned actually... I don't need that guilt!)

so suddenly it is October... feels like I blinked and here we were... can't waste time on that one


One night last week... I was laying there quasi-asleep in the guest room / play room as my husband's sonorous contributions to the house were disturbing me yet again... it was about 5 a.m., when my mommy alarm went off (the one in my head), I opened my eyes fully to see my 8 yr old beside me... she had tears streaming down her face... and when she saw me awake, she began to gasp... picture your maternal reaction to this... so I went on Red Alert (picture the lights and noises on the Enterprise LOL) and queried in a reassuring, calm manner what was going on. Her leg was hurting --- a lot. Damn growing pains. So off we go... I have her sit (clutching her leg) in the hallway as I dash (as fast as my 40 year old fat chick frame can dash) down the stairs for an ice / gel pack... back up... and hold it on... does not do the trick... dash again... get the chewable Tylenol junior... and tears are streaming and heart breaking little moans... I throw the gel pak to the side and grab some hand lotion and start massaging the leg... within moments her face began to relax.... "it's feeling better mom!" well I have to tell you, had I been informed that I had won the Nobel Peace Prize... I could not have felt more satisfaction... although my primary feeling was relief... so I tucked her in with my hands smelling coconutty / very tropical... and headed back to the guest room... I lay there wide awake with this whole good mom thing vibing in my head and heart... when the alarm goes off about an hour later... my bleary eyes blink sort of awake... she sees me upon waking up in her bright pink bed and the first thing out of her mouth is "Thanks mom for helping me last night!" with a big smile... I then feel I can conquer the day!

Where did summer go?

Are you wondering, like myself, where the hell the summer went?

are we really in the month of September?????

I am quite definitely baffled by this.... seems big D just got her report card.... and now today we hauled all those school supplies up the street for the beginning of grade 3.

It has been a very weird summer weather-wise... at least that is my opinion and I am sticking to it. We had way more rain than my weary brain can recall and not as many hot days as we typically get to enjoy.

Was the summer a success? well I measure a successful summer by the following criteria:

• did we get to the beach at least twice? yes we did!!!!
• did some things get accomplished at home to make the rest of the year go smoother? yes they did... by my sweet hubby!!!! way to go babe!
• did the kids have fun? I believe so... we have tons of pics of smiles and giggles... big D loved cooking camp, they enjoyed swim lessons and trips to the pool, they had a great time on their bikes and loved field trips... so I think... yes!
• were there fireworks? yup! Gramps set some off at the beach and they were super!
• how was my birthday? wonderful, amazing!!!! thanks so much guys!
  

so... whether summer was sunny and hot or not.... it was a success in my books! how was it is your books?

now the rest of the year's grind resumes.... meetings, homework, more meetings.... and even more meetings... LOL

Couple minutes of Bliss

I sat out in the dark on our deck. The air is warm and cool at the same time. It is dark out but as we live in the city not really really dark. You could see the outline of the trees beside the deck. The kids came out to kiss me goodnight. "Why are you out here looking at nothing Mom?" my eldest said. "I am not looking at nothing. I am looking at the stars. Come look at nothing with me." "It is too cold out here." "It is not cold" The little one showed up then for a kiss. She crawled up onto my lap and snuggled. The big one returned with a fleece blanket on herself. "I like summer" I told them. "In Halifax, summer doesn't last long so you have to savour every moment. Look at the stars. Listen really hard to hear the wind in the trees. You have to listen to hear it over the cars. " My eldest said excitedly "I can hear it already!" "When it is winter and we look out and see lots of snow out here, we can remember the shapes of the trees and sounds and the stars." I explained. My littlest said "There aren't stars in winter." "There are always stars." I replied. The wind picked up and I said "Listen it is louder", my eldest said "It sounds like water!" My little one said, "It sounds like water cuz all the little leaves are clapping together." I was in awe of her. In awe of the warmth, the outline of the trees, the wind and the leaves clapping. Bliss. Fleeting I am sure... yet definitely Bliss.

Seeking Joy, Finding Joy

u know that phrase... take time to smell the flowers..... that is so true.... I like to think that I do this... at the very least some of the time

about a week or so ago.... driving along in my car... it was a sunny day... which if u r a Haligonian... u will agree have been few and far between.... a glorious sunny day. Had the windows down, the wind blowing my hair in my face and everywhere and Madonna's Music was loudly blasting out of my 12 speakers! I had my arm dangerously dangling out the window to feel the sun while it lasted and was driving with the other hand singing my heart out! was a day to savour!

friday night, my hubby picked up my kids and I went and got my nails done! ahhhhh! then I had my brows shaped... which was a first for me ladies... seriously... I was a brow virgin... and as I did not want my "me" time to end.... I went to a movie my myself... everyone always asks... how can u do that? I don't get that! if you go with friends, which I do... u r sitting there watching the show not socializing so what is the diff if you r alone? I was sooooo excited! I love my kids so much but to see a show straight through without having to take Lil D to the bathroom or clean a spill or negotiate snacks etc.... ahhhhhhhh! me, George Clooney, Brad Pitt, a dark theater and a chocolate bar all to myself.... divine!

yesterday, it was pouring down rain... torrential rain! so we put on our raincoats, rainboots and went for a walk! puddle splashing and all! was great fun! and when the rain stopped (which I will say pissed us off a great deal!) we tapped on the trees to get it to rain on us! Then we examined slugs and worms (gross!) but the kids liked it so I tried not to shudder in front of them.

Seek joy, find joy and know that while the moment is there... it is joy for it comes and it goes! and when the drudgery resumes... u can pull the memory out and sigh!

Facebook Feelings

So.... I have been giving this some thought... not nearly as much as it needs really...

Facebook is quite the sociological phenomenon when you give the concept a moment or two...

the majority of people find it quite addictive... and when you back away from it... if you can...

you wonder why... this is not real interaction is it? It is in some ways... as there a real people

typing things to you and exchanging thoughts and ideas and views... but it is not real world...

face to face interaction... yet people... including me are dying to check their facebook... see

who is doing what? who has which friends? who has found whom? etc.

I remember one time taking some kids to the bank. They were amazed!!! you can go into a bank?????? they thought that the bank machine was it. The amount of time spent interacting on a person to person basis is so dramatically different from when we were younger and it is decreasing exponentially. If that is an appropriate phrase...? of which I am uncertain.

With internet shopping and banking and facebook and msn, our kids perceive these interactions as the norm. This boggles my mind. No wonder resumes I recieve are vague and cover letters non-existent. No wonder phone call styles have changed to abrupt verbal exchanges. No wonder when you interact in an actual store, not a cyber one, clerks stare vacantly at you when you ask for assistance.

Further to this... I also notice that facebook can cause depression. As you see people's exciting lives and you type your status update... you may ponder how you might make your life more exciting or should you live vicariously via facebook....

or perhaps facebook validates you... as you find friends and connections from afar... they affirm that they are proud of you and miss you and think your life is great and congratulate you.

It gives you a new way to ponder the definition of "friend"... such and such wants me to accept them as a friend... are they a friend? do I know them at all? didn't they hate me in high school? who is that... is that the person I gave a coupon to once in a grocery store?

It gives people too much time pondering the word "poke"...

It can provide an opportunity to cyber congregate in support of great causes and ideas such as charities or to cyber congregate for free cyber gifts. Or perhaps the valiant cause of news anchorperson tattoos....

It also has begun a new level of cyber bullying that can hurt people in whole new ways. New means of graffiti. It has lead to real world violence as facebook fights have spilled over into real world altercations.

It has added more words to our seriously messed up language.... "hey, catch ya later... I'll facebook ya!"

Now don't get me wrong! I love it! I am without doubt addicted and I have 121 friends to prove it. wink wink ..... but it really begs some serious consideration... but unfortunately we do not have a serious society to reflect upon this.

Simple Pleasures in Life

you have probably noticed how time escapes you? how you glance at the calendar and wonder where the hell that entire month went? or perhaps you don't... maybe you are so entrenched on the rat race wheel of life... that you don't even come up for air....

everyone needs to take some time for some simple pleasures in life... feel the sun on your skin... actually notice it and acknowledge it and appreciate it... smell the spring air... crank up the tunes with the window open in your car... indulge in a delicious mouth watering dessert... laugh yourself silly with a friend.... etc.... these moments... these special delectable sensory experiences add layers and facets of delight to a routine mundane life of work, house cleaning, and drudgery... make sure you live your life!

in the past couple of weeks...

• I sat on the rocks at Peggy's Cove and watched the waves as well as listened to them
• I ate a candy apple
• I threw rocks into a pond with my littlest and we listened to the different "spa-gooshes" that occured with different sized rocks
• I squirted a friend through a window with a spray bottle
• I squirted my daughter and we then had a water fight
• I let an easter egg (Cadbury of course!) melt in my mouth with my eyes shut
• I smelled a new book before opening its pages
• I blew some bubbles
• I smelled a blanket that was freshly washed
• I snuggled a baby
• I had brunch at Smitty's with family and it was scrumptious!
• a friend took me to lunch at Cora's and it was delicious and his hug at the end was just as much a treat!

well that is all that comes to mind... I am probably forgetting some... that I take for granted...

you know what I would love... for comments back on special moments you take... moments of time to smell the flowers... (keep it clean PLEASE!)

Life Lesson From BOUNDIN' --- learn something!

Hi all,

u know u can learn from pretty much anything, seriously...

my kids were watching The Incredibles the other day and we enjoyed the Pixar's Short "Boundin' " ---- I love it! I love all of their shorts but this one just makes me soooo happy and upbeat... it really gives a great philosophy on life! The link is above to check out a snippet of it and here are the lyrics...

Lyrics for Pixar’s Boundin’

Here’s a story on how strange is life with its changes

And it happened not long ago.

On a high mountain plain, where the sagebrush arranges

A playground south of the snow

Lived a lamb with a coat of remarkable sheen,

It would glint in the sunlight all sparkly and clean,

Such a source of great pridethat it caused him to preen.

And he’d break out in high stepp’n dance.

He would dance for his neighbors across the way.

I must say that they found his dancin’ enhancin’,For they’d also join in the play.
Then one day…
Then a-boundin up the slope

came a great American jackalope.

This sage of the sage, this rare hare of hope,

Caused to pause and check out the lamb.“Hey kid, why the mope?”
“I used to be something all covered with fluff,

And I’d dance in the sunlight and show off my stuff,

Then they hauled me away in a manner quite rough

And sheared me and dropped me back here in the buff.

And if that’s not enough

Now my friends all laugh at me

Cause they think I look ridiculous, funny, and pink.”
“Pink? Pink? Well, what’s wrong with pink?

Seems you’ve got a pink kink in your think.

Does it matter what color? Well, that gets nope.

Be it pink purple or heliotrope.

Now sometimes you’re up and sometimes you’re down,

When you find that you’re down well just look around:

You still got a body, good legs and fine feet,

Get your head in the right place and hey, you’re complete!
“Now as for the dancin’, you can do more,

You can reach great heights, in fact you can soar.

You just get a leg up and ya slap it on down,

And you’ll find you’re up in what’s called a bound.

Bound, bound, and rebound.

Bound and you’re up right next to the sky,

And I think you can do it if you give it a try,

First get a leg up, slap it on down…”
So every year, along about May,

They’d load him up and they’d haul him away,

And they’d shave him and dump him all naked and bare.

He learned to live with it, he didn’t care,

He’d just bound, bound, bound, and rebound.
Now in this world of ups and downs…

So nice to know there are jackalopes around.

Twas' the Night B4 Easter

Twas the night b4 Easter,
in the Dunbar house.
Too many creatures were stirring,
I hope to hell not a mouse!

The baskets were not even out where they should be,
the vacuum cleaner had puked all over the place,
the daddy was shovelling the snow, yes! SNOW!
and the mommy was blogging cuz the kids r still awake...

WHAT!!! U EXPECT RHYMING AT A TIME LIKE THIS!

the kids r indeed nestled... all snug in their beds...
visions of heelies and barbies, prancing in their heads

while I in my jammies, typing away,
dream of cadbury chocolate, drooling on the keyboard

the rhythmic noise of the shovel I hear,
as Daddy deals with the heaps of white stuff....
my head is falling over cuz I am fricking exhausted
bags of goodies await in the dining room

holy shit, not only do I have baskets to fill. ...
but eggs to hide tooo! go the heck to sleep you two!

I am drifting... I am facebooking... I am really wiped...
when did I sign up for this mythical holiday creature charade?
why do we decieve our kids this way?
just yesterday Dani said... "I know there is an Easter Bunny. Cuz u wouldn't do this to me"

guilt... shame... and the exhaustion too.....
where is the benefit in this?
oh man! go to sleep!
do u two not know all I have to do!!!!!

and then of course, the special thing
that makes this holiday mean something to me,
Easter Vigil... I did not make it there this year!!!
cuz the g/d snow got in my way!

Happy EAster to All and To all a Good night!

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asdfjaigjibh yugpji;vam/, x drool drool

A Roller Coaster Day

I love roller coasters.... I always have... and I am relatively certain I always will.

They are marvellous... no matter what type of roller coaster... they exude magic and thrill and mystery and excitment and daring and insanity and defiance and recklessness and more!

It could be an arrogant one... that is a huge metal presence, loudly proclaiming itself from the entire amusement park.

It may be a smaller one... which only upon approach does one wonder if it is exciting or just mildly so.

It may be discreet one... one that merely hints at its excitement level... perhaps it is partially or fully obscured by a facade of theme-like setting.

It may be a quaint old style one made of wood that lulls the less trepidacious people with is historic appeal and the fact that it does not do a loop-de-loop.

It might be an ironic one... one that has your feet dangling as you ride to add the the feeling of thrill... the hint of flying, the dash of... this just cannot be right.

It could be... a freak roller coaster. That would be your stand-up roller coaster, you laying down roller and your backwards roller coaster, etc. These ones are the IN-YOUR-FACE roller coasters that lend themselves in a dramatic way to triple-dares, bets, and additional challenges to thrill-seekers.

What are the elements that roller coaster have that make them what they are?

Most of them have that slow approach, often with the clicking chain as it takes you up the big hill, some even have the smaller hills to taunt and tease and tittilate you... all of these points give you time to reconsider your perhaps rash decision of riding the thing. [Although some of the freak coasters of the modern world take off with the sonic speed but that is more rare and frankly less classic!]

Then there is acceleration... come on... you know you love it! We all do... the first taste of it... is the push on the swing or the slide down a slide or sledding down a hill and then we just keep going for it... skateboards, skates, bikes... oh just shut your eyes and think of going down a hill with your feet outstretched to the sides and the wind in your hair as you and your bike are like one... that is awesome isn't it? You can almost smell the freshly mowed lawns as you zip by. and the older you get... quite often... acceleration joins you in your adult persuits... or perhaps you develop fear of it. Needless to say, it is quite a powerful force in your life as it is in a roller coaster.

The hill!!!!! or hills!!!! that downward plunge... just like the risks and challenges you face in life... do you jump feet first? or do you scrunch your eyes up and cram your face into the person beside you's shoulder? do you laugh your ass off? do you scream as you experience the joy / thrill / fear? do you throw your hands up in insanity / excitement / exuberance / daring / defiance / joy... etc.? does your stomach leave you at the top of the hill and the only way you feel you can get it back is to of course ride again.... LOL....

The twists and turns... no roller coaster can exist without the twists and turns... they are an integral part of the physics of the attraction / experience and equally they are also a necessary element of your life. No matter how staid or boring you may want to live your life... and why the hell are your doing that anyway???!!! there will always be twists and turns!!!! they make your life interesting, they change the scenery, they add breezes, and friends and change and spice as well as churning and spins and perspective shifts and fear or anxiety. They make life worth living!!!

The loop-de-loops and corkscrews... well let's face it... until you feel like your life has been turned upside down... you just have not lived at all! so why not experience on your terms, by making a conscious voluntary decision to feel that complete and utter feeling of wrongness for a brief moment at a fast speed then to wallow in it, in a confused debilitated manner. We all have upside downs times... so more painful then others and some long and some short. But this way, you meet it head on and usually with a smile on your face, a joyous scream, a petrified scream, a look of shock, whatever the expression might be, you chose it... you chose it and you know it will be over soon.

My favorite analogy for life is a roller coaster! I highly recommend them to those the right height requirement, and with no back injuries, neck injuries or heart conditions!!! Experience all the elements of life. Feel the wind absolutely forcing your hair back... see the world from many angles and at many speeds and in many positions... plunge down and hill and enjoy the sensation of wondering... what the hell was I thinking and whew! thank god it will be over in a minute or two. Feel the thankfulness at the end of... whew! glad it is over! I am brave! or the tremendous THAT WAS AWESOME! how long is the line up to go again!

you only get one life ... most of us believe... live it... no one else can...

today was a roller coaster day... not an arrogant one, not an ironic one, not a classic one, just a little one that was a bit up and a bit down....

wonder what tomorrow will bring?