Many Battles Well Fought with a War Lost

Yesterday, my sister-in-law, Cheryl succumbed to a War she had been battling with cancer for about 2 and 1/2 years. She fought it valiantly through many rounds of chemo and radiation and she also fought it with wisdom and humour.

I met my sister-in-law about 20 years ago. She had me in awe for some time. She was tremendously intelligent about a multitude of things. At that point in my life I was going to university and was engaged to her brother. She, her husband and their young son, Jordan lived in New Brunswick at the time. Her job consisted of something I thought to be incredibly impressive at Via but for the moment it is lost in my fuzzy memory. I had her on a pedestal. When she spoke, I remember thinking wow... she is something. She and her husband had adopted our nephew Jordan and her life seemed busy and as I said I was in awe.

They moved back to Nova Scotia and I got to know her a little better. By now, I was finished my degree and working full time. I had a smidge more confidence to chat with her. She still fascinated me. Her sense of humor was brilliant and dry. She possessed a warm heart yet was much like my husband in that they were NOT morning people and were more quiet then the rest of their family. They adopted another child, a vivacious little girl to add to their family and she was as sweet as Jordan was brilliant. He could read masters level journals at the age of four or perhaps three.

I can still remember the day I asked her to be a bridesmaid. She laughed and said a resounding "no". She liked to march to her own drummer and did not hesistate. Although her son was our ringbearer and her tiny daughter danced delightfully at the reception.

As time passed I got more and more opportunities to get to know her. For several months we had long conversations about life and romance and validation. Her perspectives on this were new to me and felt right but it was not until more years past and I continued to grow that I could appreciate her incredible wisdom.

My husband and I found we needed to pursue adoption as well to grow our family and her knowledge and experiences were so appreciated. She counselled us and wrote a letter of reference for us as well. I gathered courage to ask her to participate in another ceremony... this time a baptism... and instead of a resounding "no" this time, she said "yes".

I had started my own business and Cheryl volunteered to help design all the documents needed for my business and do the typing. I was a computer scaredy-cat. She did not hesitate to show me the ropes.

Often when something interested her, she pursued it with a zealousness I envied. She loved computers and was extremely adept at them. She made lovely jewellery and in the past couple of years her passion Violets. She was always good at growing things but while battling her illness and disease she poured love and nurturing into these plants.

Cheryl was wise beyond her years. She also seemed like one of those people that you suspect has lived before, in another time. She seemed to have patience like no one I knew. I called her on occassion when I felt confused and she always led me to clarity.

Her daughter grew into a young woman and she would volunteer at my work, a daycare. Then she had summer jobs there as well.

Cheryl would pop in while waiting for Mel and chat and share a laugh. She really enjoyed the kids. She always had a smile for every child who would come to hug and visit and wave. Her smile was awesome... always completely genuine.

She shall always be missed.