What are your weekend plans? I would love to know. Mine has a chunk of to-do's including catching up at work and multi-tasking at home and the fantasy of a nap or some wonderful deep sleep somehow.
Yesterday was the service for my husband's sister. The flowers were wonderful and Cheryl's african violets were all around us. I did a reading and my sis-in-law Heather gave the eulogy. She did an amazing job.
It still seems very surreal. Cheryl was only 50 years old. You sort of go on automatic pilot for the days after a death, or so I believe, you have to get yourselves organized and do the visitations and reminisce as well as share your grief and be open to consoling as well as recieving consolation. After the reception, we took the floral arrangements out to my father-in-law's grave.
Then, last night... my mind began to race. I kept trying to remember that in A New Earth, that is referred to as maya or dukkha.
Today felt very foggy. My husband was still off today, so he took our littlest to daycare as our eldest headed back to school. I got a couple pieces of paperwork done, a book order, a reference letter for a previous colleague and reviewed some other items to tackle. My brain kept feeling a disconnect.
I was really looking forward to doing a couple errands with my husband this afternoon. Just having some time alone even though we would be tackling some tasks.
So now it is evening, and while I feel a sense of accomplishment for what we achieved I just feel so scattered. I have to get my head back on straight.
We are doing professional development at work tomorrow and that always excites me and rejuvenates me. I hope this to be the case tomorrow as well.
I watched Oprah's launch of the Big Give today and I must say I am excited about it. Although they recommend you watch it with your children. The time it is on does not lend itself to that very well. I guess that is what the dvr is for. The promise was made that it will inspire so I cannot wait to experience that. I will have tissues at the ready.
Ellen had Dr. Wayne Dyer on today. She has had him on a couple of times in the past. He is pretty cool. I find listening to him really links what I am reading in A New Earth. I wonder if he and Eckhart Tolle have chatted? and I wonder if Ellen who enjoys him so much chats with Oprah who likes Eckhart so much have gotten together and dialogued about it all. LOL.... obviously more maya and dukkha on my part. Ellen mentioned listening to him all the time and so I have hunted up cds of his talks on his website. I must check Chapters for these. It really seems like a great fit with my other readings right now.
So my current reading list consists of: Bob Greene, Dr. Oz, Jillian Michaels, Eckhart Tolle. LOL... most is a pretty big link to Oprah recommendations eh? and now throwing in an Ellen one too by adding Wayne Dyer.
Lord love of God... I should throw in a Harlequin Presents or two in there to lighten the load eh? LOL
Friday, February 29, 2008
Wednesday, February 27, 2008
Why? Why? Why? & A New Earth
There is nothing like losing a loved one to make you contemplate your mortality, why you are here, and how you contribute to it all. It just really gives you pause. Well it does for the majority of us that is. Occassionally, you encounter someone who seems incredibly unaffected by it all.
So I have been mulling it all. Why do these things happen? Why the hell is cancer even around after all these years of so many people suffering? How long do any of us have? How can we ensure that our passing is as prepared for and as painless as possible for those who love us?
So having been mulling these questions over and over... I also am an Oprah watcher. Lord knows that woman is deep. She contemplates all of it and not only has wonderful perspectives on many a topic but often has amazing guests who speak to them all.
This brings me to her recent and consistent recommendation of the book A New Earth: Awakening to Your Life's Purpose by Eckhart Tolle. It is her book club's latest book to be read and discussed.
Now, about Oprah's book club, I tried the very first book she recommended. I believe it was Song of Solomon. I could not and I mean could NOT get into it. I re-read that first chapter over 100 times I swear. I kept thinking somehow I will get into this. But I just could not. It was many years ago, so I should give it another go. But after years of sitting on my bookshelf, taunting me, I decided enough was enough and put it in a yard sale. Sorry Oprah. Sorry Toni Morrison. Maybe I should buy it again.
so then I did try The Deep End of the Ocean by Jacquelyn Mitchard. I enjoyed that. It scared me, worried me, engaged me and kept me in suspense.
so while I watch the show (don't you just love Dr. Oz?) faithfully and love having the DVR as it provides me with the reassurance that Oprah is there waiting for me when I need her, I have not always jumped on the Book Club wagon.
but right now, with the thoughts going through my head about who I am? where I am in life? where do I want to go? and having just hit the big 4-0... I feel ready to reach. My hubby picked up the book for me and then Oprah keeps talking about how she and Eckhart Tolle are creating the world's largest classroom.
Starting this coming Monday evening, and going on for 10 weeks, there will be an online webinar about the book and finding your life's purpose. It is free and live. You can ask Oprah and the author questions and participate in the discussions and have a workbook and everything. It took me a week of reflection as to whether I wanted to try it or not and last night I signed up. For two of the weeks, I shall be in the States and needed to see if I could participate there, and having confirmed this, I am both excited and scared.
I started this book this morning.
So... anyone want to join me and the other 300,000 people signed up? (at last count that is)
So I have been mulling it all. Why do these things happen? Why the hell is cancer even around after all these years of so many people suffering? How long do any of us have? How can we ensure that our passing is as prepared for and as painless as possible for those who love us?
So having been mulling these questions over and over... I also am an Oprah watcher. Lord knows that woman is deep. She contemplates all of it and not only has wonderful perspectives on many a topic but often has amazing guests who speak to them all.
This brings me to her recent and consistent recommendation of the book A New Earth: Awakening to Your Life's Purpose by Eckhart Tolle. It is her book club's latest book to be read and discussed.
Now, about Oprah's book club, I tried the very first book she recommended. I believe it was Song of Solomon. I could not and I mean could NOT get into it. I re-read that first chapter over 100 times I swear. I kept thinking somehow I will get into this. But I just could not. It was many years ago, so I should give it another go. But after years of sitting on my bookshelf, taunting me, I decided enough was enough and put it in a yard sale. Sorry Oprah. Sorry Toni Morrison. Maybe I should buy it again.
so then I did try The Deep End of the Ocean by Jacquelyn Mitchard. I enjoyed that. It scared me, worried me, engaged me and kept me in suspense.
so while I watch the show (don't you just love Dr. Oz?) faithfully and love having the DVR as it provides me with the reassurance that Oprah is there waiting for me when I need her, I have not always jumped on the Book Club wagon.
but right now, with the thoughts going through my head about who I am? where I am in life? where do I want to go? and having just hit the big 4-0... I feel ready to reach. My hubby picked up the book for me and then Oprah keeps talking about how she and Eckhart Tolle are creating the world's largest classroom.
Starting this coming Monday evening, and going on for 10 weeks, there will be an online webinar about the book and finding your life's purpose. It is free and live. You can ask Oprah and the author questions and participate in the discussions and have a workbook and everything. It took me a week of reflection as to whether I wanted to try it or not and last night I signed up. For two of the weeks, I shall be in the States and needed to see if I could participate there, and having confirmed this, I am both excited and scared.
I started this book this morning.
So... anyone want to join me and the other 300,000 people signed up? (at last count that is)
Sunday, February 24, 2008
Many Battles Well Fought with a War Lost
Yesterday, my sister-in-law, Cheryl succumbed to a War she had been battling with cancer for about 2 and 1/2 years. She fought it valiantly through many rounds of chemo and radiation and she also fought it with wisdom and humour.
I met my sister-in-law about 20 years ago. She had me in awe for some time. She was tremendously intelligent about a multitude of things. At that point in my life I was going to university and was engaged to her brother. She, her husband and their young son, Jordan lived in New Brunswick at the time. Her job consisted of something I thought to be incredibly impressive at Via but for the moment it is lost in my fuzzy memory. I had her on a pedestal. When she spoke, I remember thinking wow... she is something. She and her husband had adopted our nephew Jordan and her life seemed busy and as I said I was in awe.
They moved back to Nova Scotia and I got to know her a little better. By now, I was finished my degree and working full time. I had a smidge more confidence to chat with her. She still fascinated me. Her sense of humor was brilliant and dry. She possessed a warm heart yet was much like my husband in that they were NOT morning people and were more quiet then the rest of their family. They adopted another child, a vivacious little girl to add to their family and she was as sweet as Jordan was brilliant. He could read masters level journals at the age of four or perhaps three.
I can still remember the day I asked her to be a bridesmaid. She laughed and said a resounding "no". She liked to march to her own drummer and did not hesistate. Although her son was our ringbearer and her tiny daughter danced delightfully at the reception.
As time passed I got more and more opportunities to get to know her. For several months we had long conversations about life and romance and validation. Her perspectives on this were new to me and felt right but it was not until more years past and I continued to grow that I could appreciate her incredible wisdom.
My husband and I found we needed to pursue adoption as well to grow our family and her knowledge and experiences were so appreciated. She counselled us and wrote a letter of reference for us as well. I gathered courage to ask her to participate in another ceremony... this time a baptism... and instead of a resounding "no" this time, she said "yes".
I had started my own business and Cheryl volunteered to help design all the documents needed for my business and do the typing. I was a computer scaredy-cat. She did not hesitate to show me the ropes.
Often when something interested her, she pursued it with a zealousness I envied. She loved computers and was extremely adept at them. She made lovely jewellery and in the past couple of years her passion Violets. She was always good at growing things but while battling her illness and disease she poured love and nurturing into these plants.
Cheryl was wise beyond her years. She also seemed like one of those people that you suspect has lived before, in another time. She seemed to have patience like no one I knew. I called her on occassion when I felt confused and she always led me to clarity.
Her daughter grew into a young woman and she would volunteer at my work, a daycare. Then she had summer jobs there as well.
Cheryl would pop in while waiting for Mel and chat and share a laugh. She really enjoyed the kids. She always had a smile for every child who would come to hug and visit and wave. Her smile was awesome... always completely genuine.
She shall always be missed.
I met my sister-in-law about 20 years ago. She had me in awe for some time. She was tremendously intelligent about a multitude of things. At that point in my life I was going to university and was engaged to her brother. She, her husband and their young son, Jordan lived in New Brunswick at the time. Her job consisted of something I thought to be incredibly impressive at Via but for the moment it is lost in my fuzzy memory. I had her on a pedestal. When she spoke, I remember thinking wow... she is something. She and her husband had adopted our nephew Jordan and her life seemed busy and as I said I was in awe.
They moved back to Nova Scotia and I got to know her a little better. By now, I was finished my degree and working full time. I had a smidge more confidence to chat with her. She still fascinated me. Her sense of humor was brilliant and dry. She possessed a warm heart yet was much like my husband in that they were NOT morning people and were more quiet then the rest of their family. They adopted another child, a vivacious little girl to add to their family and she was as sweet as Jordan was brilliant. He could read masters level journals at the age of four or perhaps three.
I can still remember the day I asked her to be a bridesmaid. She laughed and said a resounding "no". She liked to march to her own drummer and did not hesistate. Although her son was our ringbearer and her tiny daughter danced delightfully at the reception.
As time passed I got more and more opportunities to get to know her. For several months we had long conversations about life and romance and validation. Her perspectives on this were new to me and felt right but it was not until more years past and I continued to grow that I could appreciate her incredible wisdom.
My husband and I found we needed to pursue adoption as well to grow our family and her knowledge and experiences were so appreciated. She counselled us and wrote a letter of reference for us as well. I gathered courage to ask her to participate in another ceremony... this time a baptism... and instead of a resounding "no" this time, she said "yes".
I had started my own business and Cheryl volunteered to help design all the documents needed for my business and do the typing. I was a computer scaredy-cat. She did not hesitate to show me the ropes.
Often when something interested her, she pursued it with a zealousness I envied. She loved computers and was extremely adept at them. She made lovely jewellery and in the past couple of years her passion Violets. She was always good at growing things but while battling her illness and disease she poured love and nurturing into these plants.
Cheryl was wise beyond her years. She also seemed like one of those people that you suspect has lived before, in another time. She seemed to have patience like no one I knew. I called her on occassion when I felt confused and she always led me to clarity.
Her daughter grew into a young woman and she would volunteer at my work, a daycare. Then she had summer jobs there as well.
Cheryl would pop in while waiting for Mel and chat and share a laugh. She really enjoyed the kids. She always had a smile for every child who would come to hug and visit and wave. Her smile was awesome... always completely genuine.
She shall always be missed.
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